Happy Hour

Lets talk about happy hour.

What is happy hour really for? It is supposed to relax us after work. For some this is true. We can relax and enjoy a nice cold one. But then we have to worry how much of a good thing we have. Driving laws make things very tough for a good reason.

But what I want to talk about is doing happy hour with co-workers. I do a happy hour with a really great friend. Our though processes are very close, which to some people can be scary. We agree on a lot of things. Men, sex, beer, toys, and life in general.

But lets talk about the happy hour that the office puts on to "create a more positive team atmosphere"

I came across an article from MSNBC.com. It was a survey that shows 20% go for after work drinks and lists the fall out.

FALL OUT???? yes fall out. Come on.. One drink leads to another. Most workers attend a happy hour to "bond" with a colleague. Bond???? ok.. I would not want to bond with the people I work with. Most of the people I work with are superficial snobs. They are nice to your face and when your not around you are not worth the dirt they walk on.

15% go to hear the latest gossip, ok this I believe. I have been known to do this. The more drinks you have the more you hear. It is a known fact.

13% go because they feel obligated. Never. Never in a million years would I feel obligated to go. Now I would feel obligated to drink beer however. So if you want me there you would have to approach it like this. Melina, I hear there is this beer over at the pub that has been asking about you. You need to go check it out. Boom. I am there.

Then after a few drinks have been around the crew, 16% reported that they bad mouthed a co-worker.... NO, not that,, no one has ever done anything like that. Not even if they had never ever had a drink. Get real, how many people in this world have bad mouthed a co-worker when they are sober????

10% shared a secret about a co-worker. Ok, if you have a secret, you should not be sharing it with ANYONE. It does not matter who it is. If you don't want anyone to know, don't tell. If you need to tell. Find a priest.

8% kissed a colleague.. oh god, can we say sexual harrassment???? hello??? and 8% said they drank too much and acted unprofessionally. Ok if you kissed a co-worker, is that not unprofessional????? I am confused here. If it happened in a bar is it sexual harrassment? If I was drunk and gave a blow job to my co-worker would he call it sexual harrassment and insist that he did not want it and I forced it on him??? OH wait the only guy in our department is gay so Yes I guess he would. Shit.

5% said they had a secret about the company and 4% confessed to singing Karaoke? It is the end of the world. We are now singing and telling the secrets of the company.

This was interesting. 21% said happy hours were good for networking and 85% said attending did not help them advance in the company. Ok networking, "if you dont copy this contracts for me I will tell everyone what you said about Ned". And as far as advancing???? After you fondled Jane at the bar the other night, I can not advance to you sales and marketing in fear of what you will do to our clients. Sorry.

So I guess what they are saying is " Don't do happy hour with co-workers unless you want to be in debted to them the rest of your career."