Friendship

Well this is not a topic I seem to know much about.

I am not a good friend. Nor do I claim to be. I am just a person that seems to pass through peoples lives. I do try to be a good friend. I never pass judgement on other people. Oh wait. I guess I do some times.

I am never rude to people. Oh wait... yes I am.

Wow,,, all the things I thought I was,,, I am .

Hmmmm,,,, interesting. Do I feel bad,, yes and no. Yes I do because I hurt people. I don't mean to. I really do want to be a good friend. I just don't realize how much I am into me and end up hurting others.

No I don't feel bad because I do it to myself every time. I get close to someone and then I ruin it some how. Is this bad,,, yes of course it is.

I have never really look at this aspect of my life before till I lost a really good friend. He was my best friend. I was stupid and hurt his feelings. I didn't mean to.

I know he reads my blog,, am I reaching out to him?? yes of course. Will it help? I don't know. I just know I miss him. I do feel bad.

I wish I was not so inept when it comes to people. I feel like I should just stay on the farm and play with the animals.

Self pity??? YES... I just lost my best friend. I have been selfish, and self centered.