Its been a long time coming

Well. I have not written in quite a while. I just need to vent today. Get a few things off my chest.

MEN!!! I am married. Some times I am happy. Some times I am not. Today,,,, I am not.

Today I want to leave my worthless husband. If I do, I can not afford to have the things I do. I would have to sell the horses. Which I think I am ok with that.

I would have to get a car. I have one,,, correction, I have 6. Only 1 runs. My husband has to drive everyone around. He was supposed to fix the cars. But he instead sits in front of the computer. He doesn't always do anything on the computer, some times he just sits there when it is off. Then he has the nerve to bitch about having to drive everyone around. He claims he has no time for himself.

What I see is happening is he doesn't really want to get things fixed. He would rather bitch about it. He knows he is lazy, he even said so himself just this morning.

So lets move from here to,,, oh ,, I don't know,,, Lets talk sex. There is none. Zilch, nodda, zero, zip. His dick is as active as he is. It doesn't work. And if it did, it is the worst sex I have ever had.
He has tried viagra. It does not help. If you can't tell when you fall out of the nice warm place, then you have no need to have sex. Because chances are, you wouldn't know it if you were having sex.

So why did I marry him???? I don't remember. I liked him at some point. Maybe even loved him.

Have I grown tired? Yes I think so. Its not like I am dead. I am trying to be faithful. It is harder than hell. I have had plenty of offers.

Maybe if I did have sex, I would feel better about myself. Maybe, just maybe I would take better care of myself.

Right now I get my fix on sex from books. NOT romance novels, but detective books, yes they do have romantic moments in them. Besides, I can't handle a romance novel. They are unrealistic and just get womens hope up that there are actually guys out there like that.

So get this, I am almost 50. I am being hit on by a guy who is 28. He is hot. He is married but he is still hot. He has a hard body. He is sexy as hell. The problem is, he is in California and I am in Oregon. I know him personally. I would jump his bones in a heart beat. But how the hell can I get away from hubby, work, etc, to do him? How will he get a way from his wife?

Shit. Then I just lost a friend with benefits because I wanted to start being just friends. He only wanted the benefits. Which is still fine with me. But sometimes it is nice to talk in between sex and recovery. He was black, and damn good. Now we don't talk at all.

I thought about going back on Craigs list and finding someone new but with all the murders and everything, well I won't be doing that anytime soon.

What I truly need is SEX, hot passionate sex. I need to meet someone I have chemistry with. I don't want to just get laid. I want lust. Lots and lots of lust. Hot steamy I can't take my mind off of it sex. Some hard body, or soft who knows what the hell they are doing. Who knows exactly how to use his cock and is not afraid to use it. Someone who won't jump up and say see you later.
Someone who is clean, and has an incredible sexuality about them. You know it as soon as they enter a room. I want someone who can make me melt with just a touch....

Do they really exist? Do men like that really exist? Are there any at all? If they exist how do you find them? Where are they because I want one! If you happen to be one, write to me. I would LOVE to meet you. Call me!!!!! Better yet, do me